Fragile
I'll tell you a secret...I am not five foot six.
I'm only five five and a half.
But five six always sounded so much taller.
I'll tell you a secret...
I keep my eyes open, when others pray. I know I'm not supposed to,
but I have this weird obsession
Watching hands, eyes, lips
expressions that rush, like an angry cloud
across the face, when people talk to God.
I'll tell you a secret...
I only have nine toenails,
I eat chocolate chips by the handful
and the word darling always
always
breaks my heart.
And one more thing...
(just between you and me)
I'm not really a cynic
not really courageous
not really so offended
by all those things you say.
I'm just....
fragile.
posted by Erin @ 4:28 PM
7 Comments:
to all those out there in cyberspace land:
this poem is nothing more than an experiment. this poem is just my heart beating itself into words. just me wondering what it would be like if we all (and by we all, I mean me)decided to stop pretending we have it all together and that we are not completly and utterly desperate without the Master's help...
yay ERIN'S THGHTS SPLATTERED FOR ALL TO SEE! I mean.. whoo-hoo, i found your blog :)
in the 3rd stanza, i think the reference to the toenail changes the tone to something.. grotesque :P
i love how you have the parenthesis in the 4th stanza, it really enforces an intimate atmosphere, and the way that the "not really" give a sort of rhythmic meter to the poem.
this one ended off differently than it began, i found.. i feel that there was a steady implicit message in first part of the poem, how you have control over your audience by disclosing only certain things and in that, it clearly shows that the narrator is a mystery. but the last last when you come out and definitely say what you ARE, i think that you don't need to be explicit there.. then again, i'm not sure what i would suggest instead.
it's quite characteristic of the modern woman though!
hmm...you may be right about the toenail thing Val. I'll try to think of something a little more poetic and a little less gross.
(it's true though- I only have 9)
Ah, but "I'm afraid of the dark" is so cliche. The toenail part was such blatant honesty. Maybe something just as blatantly honest...?
what would I do without you guys to challenge me?
you are all going to know all of my little eccentricities by the time I reach the end of this ridiculus poem!
Irish, darling, you = gifted poet and I wish I had something more inspirational for you to read but I really have nothing except this; you rock.
ta milady
-Marvel
Post a Comment
<< Home